literature

The Orchid Pilferer

Deviation Actions

grapehyacinth's avatar
Published:
39.5K Views

Literature Text

A Mother Nature Story

by grapehyacinth



Nate trudged through the rain forest, finding himself increasingly irritated by the shrill of a very loud bird. He tugged his backpack higher up on his shoulders and scrambled up a steep hill. Pushing
past vines and trees, he sought the prized, endangered orchids that grew only in this area of the world. They fetched a large price on the black market, and the proceeds of just one prime specimen could provide several months' salary.

A faded sign came into view, which read, "Do NOT remove plants, fine $100,000 and possible jail time".

Nate snorted, "Go to hell, sign," and continued on his way.


When he reached the summit of the hill, he had to inhale at the striking sight that met his eyes. Many of the orchids were in bloom, making this well-hidden spot seem like a virtual Garden of Eden. Pinks and reds, oranges and yellows cascaded down the trees and intertwined with vines. If the camera on his phone were working, he might have been tempted to take a picture, but right now he had more pressing matters to attend to.

In the crook of a nearby sapling sat a perfect red phalenopsis orchid. Several stalks of crimson flowers sprayed down the bark, and Nate immediately set to removing the plant. As he wrapped its roots and tucked it into protective plastic in his backpack, a female voice startled him.

"Put that back."

He jumped up in surprise. "Who..." he flipped around to see a woman who was poorly attired for a walk in the jungle. Wearing a toga-like outfit and thin sandals, he couldn't imagine how she had scaled the cliff without a single scratch or bit of dirt on her dress. "Where did you come from?" he demanded.

"Please put my plant back."

"Your plant? Who are you to tell me it's yours? Finders keepers. Go find your own. Although you do know this is illegal." He scrutinized her with suspicion. "Are you some kind of forest ranger or something?"

"You might say that."

"In this little poor country? They can't afford to pay you much."

"Ha. My services are priceless. No one could pay for them."

Chortling, Nate pushed past the stranger. "Whatever. Have fun and don't take too many plants. Some of us make a living on them." He trudged off.

As he made his way forward, the woman suddenly appeared before him. "Holy hell!" he gasped, staggering backwards and almost dropping his backpack.

"You prospectors are all the same. I'm constantly dealing with scum like you. What you're doing is illegal and destructive. You're interfering with the ecosystem."

Struggling to bring words to his mouth and trying to seem unfazed by the fact that the woman had appeared from thin air, he tossed out, "But it makes a lot of orchid collectors very happy, which in turn makes me lots of money." Again, he elbowed past her, making his way through the thick jungle.

And suddenly he was back at the very tree he had removed the orchid from.

Get up there."

The woman stood beside him, pointing up at the tree.

"Up!"

"Where?"

"Where you got the plant from."

"I...why the hell should I do that?" he exclaimed furiously. "And how the hell did I get back here? Are you some kind of hypnotist or something?"

"You steal something from me, you replace it."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means I'm Mother Nature and you're an orchid."

"What?" But Nate felt funny. His stomach was churning, and his skin was swiftly gaining a greenish tinge. "What...what is this?" he stared down at himself, swearing that the woman and the jungle around him were growing taller and taller.

"You'll love photosynthesis," the woman said, observing him with interest.

"Photosyn...oh, no...you're hypnotizing me into this...I'm not an orchid...I..." Nate finally began to panic when he saw his arms flattening out and growing leaf-like. He tried to dash away but fell to the forest floor, his legs quickly fusing into a stem.

Mother Nature laughed. "Going somewhere, little flower?"

"Oh, my God! Stop it!" Nate cried in horror as he watched his feet shrink out of his shoes and lengthen into a growing network of roots.

The woman picked him up in her hand, smiling at his continuing metamorphosis. He flapped his leaf-arms in protest. "Put me down!" he yelled, which only made her laugh as petals began to sprout around his face, and his head began to dissolve into the shape of a flower. "Please, please, help me!" he cried, but then his mouth was gone, and he grew still.

"Nate, I'm surprised. For such an ugly man, you make an exquisite flower."

Bitch, Nate thought to himself.

"I heard that, little orchid-man. You still have your mind in there, and I can still read it."

You are a bitch! How could you take a human being and turn him into a plant?

“Easily! I just did."

But that's awful! What's to become of me? I mean, do I die like this?

"Oh, orchids can be very long-lived. You know that. Here, get comfortable." She inserted his roots into the crevice where the original orchid had grown. "You'll like it here." She tapped at him, then picked the other orchid out of his backpack. "I'm going to find this girl a better tree to live in. Enjoy!"

Wait! You're leaving me here?

She turned back and studied him. "Well, where else do you want to live? I like to live in the wild if I happen to feel the urge to be a plant."

You can't leave me! I'm a person!

She walked off. "Hardly."



Nate screamed in his mind through the night, and he wondered if he could go mad like this. If one didn't have a real brain, could one go insane? How the hell could he even think if he didn't have a brain?

He had hoped that sunup would bring him some reassurance, but it only served to make his plight all the more real. Although he could not move, he could see the petals around what had been his face, and he could just make out the corner of one of his thick leaves...

I have roots...

He found himself twisting them deep into the tree crevice in search of moisture.

And I think I'm thirsty too?

He could feel the hot sun beating down on his leaves as it rose overhead, and his whole fleshy form ached for the moisture he could not locate.

Rain...I need rain...

On top of his incredible thirst, he was stuck, unmoving, the tropical midday sun searing his leaves...

He felt as if he would faint from the lack of liquid sustenance... Can I pass out? What's to make me lose consciousness if I have no nervous system? The whole impossibility of his situation left him pondering it for a good part of the afternoon.

A crack boomed through the jungle, and suddenly there was a deluge. The water bathing him was a precious salve, and he opened his stomata to guzzle every bit. The rainwater pooled in the tree's crevice, leaving him with a life-saving reservoir that he hoped would last for several days.

How wonderful his roots felt in the cool water! It was almost as if he were home, soaking in a bath...

...Except I'm a plant, he thought.

Only a clap of thunder answered him.



Life continued on, day after day in this fashion. Nate looked forward to the frequent afternoon storms, for they were refreshing, and they served to fill up the cool pool he grew in. Meanwhile he watched the forest in silence, learning of the animals and plants which he had never taken an interest in before now.



As he became part of the perfect order of the ecosystem, he began to regret how he had been interrupting it. There was balance in everything. People could do fine with the orchids grown in orchid nurseries; there was no reason to rip them from the wild any longer.

And then hands grabbed at him. "Oh, you're a beauty! Look at the size of your flower!"

Before Nate could even fathom what was occurring, he was rudely ripped from his crevasse and held up in the air. His roots dangled in the breeze, shedding the precious water.

No, no...put me back...My water...

"I'm going to get hundreds for you, babe!"

He was stuffed unceremoniously into a plastic bag...in someone's backpack.

I'm not a babe, he protested silently.


Nate changed hands several times in the course of a few days. Mostly he lay in darkness, sandwiched in boxes with other plants like himself. His body ached for sunlight and the humid air of his forest. But the darkness plus the absence of rainforest sounds was almost worse than the lack of water, and in his thoughts, he cried.


Then suddenly there was light, and he was lifted from his box. His roots were pushed into a pot full of damp, peat-like material, and floral plastic was wrapped around him.

But the feeling of fresh air and sun on his leaves was so invigorating that he pushed out a new flower bud.

Wow! I had no idea I could do that! he thought to himself triumphantly.

Yet his freedom was short-lived. He was placed back into a larger box with other potted orchids, and blackness returned.


The bad music piped over the speakers should have alerted him as to where he sat. As far as he could tell, he was now in the gardening section of some large store. Oh, God, they're going to sell me to just anyone? At least I sold my specimens to orchid collectors who knew how to take care of orchids...

"Welcome to Walmart! Can I help you?"

Oh, God! Not Walmart!

"Um, yeah. Are these daisies?" a scruffy young man yanked at Nate's leaf.

Don't touch me! No! And how dare you call me a daisy?

The Walmart worker cocked her head, twisting Nate's pot to stare at his tag. "Uh, let's see. I'm not sure."

"My girlfriend likes daisies."

"Yeah, I like 'em too. Now...the tag says..'.pal..en...op...sees...orsch....eed' Oh, orchid. It's some kind of orchid."

"What's that?"

"'A flower?"

The youth tossed Nate roughly into his cart, bruising a leaf. "It's cool, whatever it is. I'll take it."

"Thank you for shopping at Walmart!"

Oh, that's it, thought Nate. I'm finished.


When he was handed to the young man's girlfriend, she squeaked, “It's beautiful!" and placed Nate on a wooden mantle. This in itself brought him great foreboding. If the fireplace were used, he could already imagine the heat silently roasting his chloroplasts. The agony of this possible torture sent an actual shiver through him.

His leaf ached where it had been bruised, and he wondered if he could heal as a plant. I can't believe what that jerk did to me! he thought. If I only hands, I'd slap him...if I only could move...

The room was dark, and as the hours went on, he ached for the bit of sun that leaked in around the drawn shade. Please...please, just open the shade for even a few minutes...I need light...I need to make food for myself...

So far, he had been largely ignored. And, as of yet, he had not been watered.

As the days went on, he felt the same relentless thirst that had seized him in the forest. Only this time there were no lifesaving deluges to rescue him. He had no interest in the human activity around him, merely watching and feeling his body slowly desiccate. His petals dropped off one by one, and soon, the new flower he had recently pushed open fell to the ground in one swoop.

There was no water and no light to make himself food...

Oh, Mother Nature... help me...


"Hey, hon, I think your flower is...um, dying?" Nate could just make out the drunken slur of his purchaser's voice.

"Damn, it was so pretty too! Water it for me!"

"Okay."

Something touched Nate, and he perked up expectantly, waiting for the life-saving fluid to bathe his hungry leaves...

But the cool substance flowing over him did the exact opposite. It sent a sting through his stem, sucking away whatever moisture he had left. It seemed to burn and suffocate him, and his vision was darkening...

"Flowers like beer?"

"Sure they do!"

"It's not growing back."

"Give it time."


Nate struggled to live as the alcohol evaporated from his soil, but a whole bottle of beer had been poured into it. He was being poisoned.

Mother...Nature... I'm dying...

"Your plant is dead, honey."

"Toss it."


The garbage can was cool and damp, which provided Nate some comfort in his last aware moments. I've hit rock bottom. I'm a plant drowning in beer, left to die in a garbage can. Was I really that bad a person? No. A bit misguided in adulthood, admittedly, but I was never a truly evil man...

Then all was dark.


"Awake, little flower. You're a changed man."

I sure was changed. I once actually was a man...

"Nate, you can move now. I changed you back."

"Can I talk- " Nate clasped his hand against his mouth and sat up. "Oh, I have a mouth, arms...Oh, I'm back! I was dead!"

"Well, you were close to dead. I wasn't planning on them watering you with beer."

"Mother Nature, you have to stop those guys that were stealing orchids like me! I can't believe how stupid I was to take the plants from the wild...”

Mother Nature smiled and tapped him reassuringly on the shoulder. "I will. I will. And I hope you can help out too. You've obviously gained some opinions and thoughts on the subject."

Nodding vehemently, Nate exclaimed, “Well, for one thing, I'll never drink an ounce of beer again. Ever!”

Not a bad idea. It does damage your brain cells. But what will you do about the orchid problem?”

"I'll tell you this. They shouldn't be allowed to sell orchids anywhere except plant nurseries! That's what I'm going to fight to stop!"

Shrugging, Mother Nature uttered, "Well, it's definitely a start."

This story is dedicated to all of you who wanted to know what Mother Nature's been up to for all of these months.  
Easy answer: she's doing what she does best...
© 2017 - 2024 grapehyacinth
Comments30
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
eriknl77's avatar
OMG I love this one. always hoped for more plant and tree TF's, esp love it he has no idea what's going to happen and just have to undergo it. Oh how I'd wish to be tf-ed into a plant permanently, just having to go through what will happen. Great work. keep it up.!!!!!!!!!!